We are a tolerant country but migrants in luxury hotels are causing trouble

OUR eternal national dilemma is that more people want to live in the UK than we will ever be able to house, educate, employ, care for when sick and care for when they are old.

We are extremely generous towards asylum seekers.

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Migrants are being accommodated in luxury hotels across the UK with no solution to the crisis in sight1 credit
Accommodation across the country has been block-booked by the Home Office

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Accommodation across the country has been block-booked by the Home OfficeCredit: Alamy

But the fact is that we will never be able to offer a British home to everyone in the world who wants it.

Their number is too great. Our resources are too limited.

“Get a grip!” Keir Starmer shouts at the government as the migrant crisis spins out of control.

But would the Labor Party be better? All the evidence suggests Starmer’s mob would be far worse.

Labor is acting as if the migrant crisis is entirely the fault of the evil Tories and their racist cheerleaders.

The work acts as if every soul that steps out of a dinghy on the beach at Dover is an unblemished refugee fleeing a war zone.

And not, you know, France.

The blood runs cold over how a Labor government would deal with the migrant crisis.

Labor Home Secretary Yvette Cooper once vowed to house Syrian refugees in her own home, but was never quite successful in convincing Ed Balls to empty the storage room.

Yvette has not found accommodation for a migrant, let alone 60,000 of them.

And around 60,000 people are expected to cross the English Channel illegally in small boats this year, equivalent to the population of a town the size of Macclesfield or Margate.

The numbers – like the emotions – are suddenly totally out of control.

Interior Minister Suella Braverman called the current situation an “invasion,” emotional language that offered an open target for Braverman’s establishment enemies.

But let’s not quibble over semantics. The significant issue is that 1,843 migrants crossed the Channel in 2019.

Last weekend, 1,000 people made the same trip in a single day.

The following day, a man threw petrol bombs at an immigration center in Dover before apparently committing suicide at the scene.

We are on the brink of a national catastrophe. The UK is a tolerant and welcoming country.

But welcoming criminals does nothing to contribute to national harmony.

A convicted murderer from Albania, a 31-year-old Mr. Mariglen Shoshari, is currently having his asylum claim, incredibly, considered. Hmmm – it’s hard!

And evicting UK tenants from their rented flats to make room for illegal arrivals does not make our country a sweeter, sweeter land.

The MP for Dover has warned that greedy landlords are trying to “profit” from the crisis.

I’m sick of this country being soft to the touch. If you say you are gay, or a Christian fleeing a Muslim country, or you have been trafficked, then you can stay. That’s all it takes.

I’m sick of stupid ideas that won’t work a thousand years from now.

In a country with a booming human rights industry employing gaggles of leftist lawyers, exactly how many illegal migrants do you think will be deported to Rwanda?

My guess – none.

I am tired of those who claim that the crisis is entirely the fault of the evil Tories and British racists.

Like Alastair Campbell, Tony Blair’s spin doctor is currently advising Albanian Prime Minister Edi Rama on how to criticize the evil British government for its heinous treatment of Albanians.

And I’m sick of those who talk as if there’s a lasting solution other than stopping the boats in the first place.

Former Labor spin doctor Alastair Campbell stirred the pot

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Former Labor spin doctor Alastair Campbell stirred the potCredit: Getty – Contributor

No, the Royal Navy is not going to push the boats back, or sink them, or apply gunboat diplomacy.

Because our history tells us that we are not that kind of country.

But the current system is not working and if the numbers are not checked the UK will be a much uglier and less welcoming country than it was before.

The processing system is so slow that he is comatose.

Nearly 130,000 asylum seekers and their families are currently waiting to be processed.

And 96% of those who landed last year are still waiting.

Until their demands are heard – most will of course be successful – the British taxpayer is paying for their sustenance.

It is not a racist country, but when illegal migrants are housed at taxpayers’ expense in luxury hotels, racism is actively fomented.

Can we extend a helping hand to those who really need it without being tender?

Can we be caring without being a cup nation?

Can we even learn to work with our French neighbors to stop human traffickers? Probably not.

But the alternative is to build a city the size of Macclesfield or Margate every year.

And we can’t do that either. But it is the greatest country in the world, and it is the heart of our national dilemma.

Because if you lived in Albania or in the EU, you would probably want to live here too.

Iconic Tommy and Pam

Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson are an instantly recognizable couple of a more carefree age

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Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson are an instantly recognizable couple of a more carefree ageCredit: Getty

FOR Halloween, Liam Payne dressed up as Tommy Lee while his date, Kate Cassidy, was Tommy’s ex-wife, Pamela Anderson.

Then rapper Machine Gun Kelly also channeled the Motley Crue drummer, while his fiancée Megan Fox made a pretty good impression of the Baywatch girl in her busty pump.

It’s not just a coincidence.

Pam and Tommy are now iconic, as recognizable as John and Yoko or Sid and Nancy.

In our waking world where everyone is terrified of being offended and getting blasted by the Twitter mob, Tommy Lee and Pam go back to a less complicated and fun age.

Who ever thought that overly tattooed biceps and big sun-burnt breasts would look almost innocent?

Russia was no better

ALL reviews of the Qatar World Cup hit a snag.

The last was in Russia.

And Russia in 2018 was no different from the Russia that pushed the world to the brink of nuclear war in 2022.

Putin was in power. His rogue army of rapists and murderers had invaded Crimea more than FOUR YEARS before.

And in 2012, Moscow’s highest court banned gay pride marches for 100 YEARS.

Sorry, but I intend to enjoy this World Cup, because I have had all the World Cups since 1966.

Let’s stop worrying about Qatar.

No Qatari has ever threatened my country with nuclear war.

The public has had enough

I LOVE the woman from the East End who tried to drag a Just Stop Oil bearded guy from the middle of the road.

What a pity the police didn’t have the bottle to do it.

reggae dogs

RESEARCH suggests dogs relax best to reggae. Oh good?

Our Stan treats his separation anxiety with soothing classical music.

Bach? No, just a slight hum.

Ads full of memories

Past adverts for Cadbury's Flake could bring back fond memories for viewers

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Past adverts for Cadbury’s Flake could bring back fond memories for viewers

FRENCH author Marcel Proust took just one bite of the madeleine and it sparked a torrent of memories that culminated in his seven-volume novel, Remembrance of Things Past.

I felt like Proust when I heard they were dropping Bounty from the Celebrations tub.

The chocolate ads from my childhood have come back with a bang.

The macho truckers with their sexist Yorkie bars: “Good rich and thick, a brick of milk chocolate!”

The worldly sophistication of these Ferrero Rocher advertisements: “You are spoiling us, Ambassador!

The kid from Milky Bar acting like a four-eyed sailor on shore leave: “The Milky Bars are on me!”

Milky Bar's children's ad is still memorable decades after it first aired

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Milky Bar’s children’s ad is still memorable decades after it first airedCredit: YouTube

Take a break, have a kit kat. The bourgeois dinners where they spent the mint After Eight.

Aero: “Feel the bubbles melt.”

The phallic, quasi-pornographic fantasy of Cadbury’s Flake and his shock-sucking hippie chick.

The woman in the bathing suit inexplicably stuffing her face with candy.

“Chocolate? With your silhouette?

“Malters! It was the honeycombed middle that weighed so little, apparently.

Bounty ads let viewers dream of a faraway paradise vacation

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Bounty ads let viewers dream of a faraway paradise vacation

The Bounty commercial was the closest my childhood ever had to a tropical vacation.

“They came looking for paradise,” the man said, as beautiful people landed on a golden beach. “And found . . . Prime.”

It won’t really be a party without the taste of heaven.

The boy is on a winner

Boy George, strong and witty, should be a big hit in I'm a Celebrity

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Boy George, strong and witty, should be a big hit in I’m a CelebrityCredit: EPA

Expect Boy George to walk away with I Am A Celebrity. . . Get me out of here.

He’s tough as nails.

After being sentenced to community service for the discovery of cocaine in his Manhattan home in 2006, George was ordered to clean up some of New York’s dirtiest streets.

He did it with grace, courage and provocative humor.

“I’ve always been a scrubber,” he chuckled, promising he’d wear “something loud” under his street cleaner’s kit.

But what impressed me then and what I remember most clearly now was that George said his mother – who had offered to fly away to help him – had been a wife of housework.

And there’s no shame in being a cleaner.

When George wins big in the jungle, it will be his final step in his transition from law-breaking, drug-taking, gender-bending bad boy to national treasure.

Bankrupt Katie Price flies away for the TWELFTH public holiday of the year in Thailand
People barely realize the hidden functionality of takeout boxes

Strictly Secret

MILLIONS of Strictly viewers had the exact same reaction to the revelation that last Sunday’s dance was restarted after Fleur East had an accident with a prop.

So it’s not really live after all?

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